With the New Year upon us, its a great time to make some positive changes and one of the most powerful changes you could make is the way you think and talk to yourself.  

Everything we think, feel, say and do becomes a part of our reality whether we are conscious of it or not.  The law of attraction, which is a universal law, states that we attract into our lives what we focus on.  So it couldn't be more important to be sure to focus on the positive to bring about more positive things in our lives.  But when life gets rough or we are feeling down it can be hard to keep the dialogue in our minds on a positive note.  In order to make lasting changes in the way you think, you will need to make a committment to catch yourself when you start to get down.  Because no matter how things may feel, you have the power, starting with your thoughts, to create a life that  brings you happiness and joy.  

So, how do we change our thinking?  One thought at a time.  Like anything you start new, its going to take practice for it to become a habit.  Catching negative thoughts is the first step in overcoming negative thinking.  When we have a negative thought about a situation or a person our emotions will send us a signal.  Usually a negative thought will cause a negative emotion and we will feel unpleasant.  This is a sign!  Listen to yourself and how you are feeling.  If you have just encountered an unpleasant experience or person and are struggling to have a positive or even neutral reaction, you are probably starting a negative thought cycle.  This is the best time to catch yourself and replace those negative thoughts with something positive.  This can be done by shifting perspective.   Let's walk through an example of how to change perspective and have a positive thought about a situation that left you feeling less than happy.  Let's say, you were already having a tough day and this interaction was the last thing you needed.  Your checking out at a store where you often go and the cashier is extremely rude to you.   As you walk out of the store you are thinking to yourself, what a rude person, what a real butt head! I don't like that person and they are worthless and stupid.  What an idiot, they can't even get a decent job.  Then someone pulls out in front of you as you are leaving the parking lot.  That's it!  You have had it.  The world is full of inconsiderate people and this sets the tone for the rest of your day. 

What can you do differently to change your reaction, thinking and the outcome for yourself?   Shift perspective and try to put yourself in the other persons shoes.  Ask yourself some questions like.....  Does that cashier actually know me?  Do I know them?  Do I know what they might be going through in their personal life? The answers are more than likely NO.  Its possible that person just got some bad news about a family member or their own health and well being.  Its possible that they are going through a personal struggle that just spilled over into their job and subsequently you.  It wasn't personal and you shouldn't take it to be.  When you start to think about all the possible things that could cause a person to be rude, you start to realize that it wasn't about you and you shouldn't let it affect the way you think or how you feel.  In this way, you are having compassion and a change in perspective.  Its so important to not continue the cycle, to not let negativity spill out from you and spread like an infection.   Realizing we all have bad moments and chalking this one up to a momentary misfire on someone elses part, will allow you the mental space to keep on being positive.  Instead of thinking poorly of this person, take a moment and send them some positive vibes and hope that their day gets better.  For their sake and everyone else who may encounter them.   

Negative thinking doesn't just come as a reaction to someone elses behavior.  It can also be the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves.  Its so important to be mindful of how we talk to ourselves.  The world can be a tough and demanding place and sometimes it seems its out to get us.  The last thing that we should do is be hard on ourselves too.   Learn to be a soft place for yourself to land.  Learn to tell yourself positive and uplifting things about yourself.   Instead of mulling thoughts like "I am not good enough"  or "I am not as smart as everyone else"  tell yourself "I am great", "I am wonderful"  and "I am intelligent, compassionate and kind".   We are so rarely taught to be kind to ourselves first.  But being kind and having a positive dialogue inside ourselves is key to having positive interactions with the world around us. 

The more you practice compassion and shifting perspectives with negative situations and people you encounter, the easier it becomes.   And as it becomes easier, it starts to form a habit inside your mind, a habit of taking negative experiences and thoughts and turning them into positive ones.  Then the chain reaction of positive thinking starts!

If your interested in learning about changing your thinking and perspective to awakening the healing ability inate in you, contact me for free / donation based spiritual counseling.  Visit the Contact/Donations page and drop me an email.
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Do you feel like you might be in a toxic or unhealthy relationship but your not sure?  Here are some questions and quidelines to applly to your relationship to determine whether or not you are in a relationship that is beneficial to you. The relationship can be between you and a romantic partner or between you and a familly member or friend.

How do you feel the majority of the time about your relationship?  If you feel on edge, sad or depressed about this relationship, it may be time to take a closer look at what the dynamics are between you and your partner or family member.

Does the person tell you that they love you and yet you don't FEEL loved?  Saying the words, "I Love You" can be very easy for some people, but acting in a loving manner is something totally different.  Don't fall for the words.  Be sure that you feel loved.  Being truely loved gives you a feeling of security, empowerment, caring and joy. If you answered No to the question above then even though you love this person, there is a reality that they may not be capable of loving you the way you need to be loved and in a healthy way.

When you bring up concerns or address issues in the relationship, how does the person respond?  Do they turn the situation around on you?  Do they get defensive and avoid addressing the issue?  Do they attack and make this about things you may have done?   Do they argue the facts and question your recollection of events? Do they accuse you of being crazy? All of these behaviors are emotionally detrimental.  In a healthy relationship, your concerns are listened to and addressed with a resolution and goal to improve your relationship. 

Does the relationship seem one sided? Do you feel like you are the one always giving and not getting back what you put in?  Does the other persons wants and desires take priority over yours more? If the answer is yes, then you are most likely in a relationship with a person who is mostly self centered and selfish.  Selfish people have a hard time putting other people's needs before their own.  They struggle to have fulfilling relationships with anyone in their lives.  

Do you or the other person use drugs or alcohol to medicate emotional pain and trauma or as a means to coping with life's stressors?  It is one thing to occasionally use drugs or alcohol in a recreational manor, but it is entirely different when they are being used to avoid dealing with life and your emotions.  Life can be very painful, but burying that pain under drugs and/or alcohol only makes things worse.  If either of you are abusing in this way, there is no way you can be having a healthy relationhip.  In order to have a positive relationship, you must be emotionally strong and healthy as individuals.  

Sometimes the most obvious abusive behaviors can be ignored.  You are in an unhealthy relationship if you or the other person speaks degradingly to the other, such as name calling, putting the other down, cussing and threatening.   Do you rationalize these behaviors away because someone was just "angry" in the moment?  People who speak like this to "people they love" are not being loving and that behavior constitues an unhealthy abusive relationship.  

If any of these traits are appearing in your relationship, its time to make some changes to heal that relationship or call it quits and heal yourself before beginning another relationship.  You are worthy of a truly loving, whole, fulfilling and positive relationship.   Don't let toxic people bring you down and keep you from reaching your full potential and following your dreams.

If you would like personal spiritual counseling, reach out to me on my contact / donations page to make an appointment. 



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